Textsfromhistory

---

karibbean-kidsthehivemodelsthebigchill65allaboutnewyorkayabuki mao

---

LIVE

textsfromhistory:(317): I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

fuckyeahrobespierre:textsfromhistory:(515): This amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you

textsfromhistory:(630): its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it

(807): I need a horse. I don’t think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

(850): I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, the pants were soon off.

(703): there’s an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face

(585): He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my “tremendous ass.&am

(401): Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

(713): I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.

(416): Welp, I can cross “making out with a guy in a dress” off my bucket l

(651): Well I just put wine in my tea

(469): Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have m

(828): If we can put a man on the moon, I’m sure we can turn a pringles can into a bo

(503): At this point I think you’re just judging my taste in men

(843): I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you sho

(608): He knew exactly who I’d slept with after just one look at my crotch. He&rs

(253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of

(573): BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRIN

(519): On a scale of one to America, how free are you this weekend?

Prev PageNext Page